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The M/S adness Collection No 1

Mémé Aurait Aimé started as a blog where I would share the inspiring events and people of the region. I was at the time working as a bar manager and had to quit because of a severe burn out that eventually transformed into the worst depression I had had so far. 

My inner voice was telling me that things in my life were not right and I could only ignore it for so long before I was forced to stop. 

1st of August 2016, my body decided that it wouldn’t move anymore, my left side was completely paralyzed. Later that year, I quit my job as a bar manager as it was the second burn out I had been through in less than 4 years. 

January 2017, I worked 4 jobs while continuing my studies at Open University. I knew those jobs weren’t right for me but that I was in a transition period of my life. I also knew that I was not meant to work for other people’s dreams. 

October 2017, my golden opportunity had opened its door to welcome me into my atelier at Les Ateliers de la Côte. At this point, I was deep in my depression and needed medicated help just to get through the day.
Deep down, I knew I had to hold on.
Deep down, I knew it could only go uphill from here. 

April 2018, I turned 26 years old. Each year I gift myself something special for my birthday. That year, I decided that I was ready to face my life, get out of the numbness of the medication. Consequently, I stopped taking them, cold turkey and faced the demons I had put on pause for the last 6 months of my life. The meds gave me the time I needed to rest and therefore the energy to welcome all the colors of my emotions.
Panic attacks rolled like vicious waves over my body during the dead of the night. I held on. I knew it needed to come out. I gave it space to be expressed, knowing that eventually, it will pass. 

Meditation and yoga became my new meds. By keeping up with my daily practice, I was able to keep my mental health on track. It was far from perfect, anxiety still crept up on me, I still got overwhelmed by sadness but I knew I was a working progress.

October 2018, due to deep inner work, I was able to kick off the bad habit of smoking because it didn’t feel aligned with me anymore. 

December 2018, I decided to become a vegetarian. Realizing how sensitive I was, I couldn’t imagine eating animals without absorbing their emotions in some way. And for sure it helped, my mood swings went down significantly.

December 2019, beginning of a massive creative blocage. Red flag telling once again that even if I have come a long way, I wasn’t quite there yet. 

Mars 2020, coronavirus hit. I dove deep into my cacao practice adding it to my existing routine and spending a lot more time in nature. I am the type of person that needs to experience something to be able to believe in it. This plant medicine opened my heart so wide I had no idea it was possible to love this much! I also learned to love myself deeply and to honor my needs and boundaries profoundly. 

April 2020, month of my  28th birthday, I decided to gift myself sobriety. Alcohol helped my escape but I realized that kept my vibration low.
What was the big deal anyway, everyone drinks right? But then it hit me, I realized that I had spent half of my life drinking. Did I want to spend the rest of my years doing this? Or was I going to shift and evolve?
I tried for one month. Figured that wasn’t too hard so pushed it to 3 months. Once I got to 3 months, I really didn’t see the point in it anymore and I had experienced more happiness and joy sober than I had ever had even on my most festive nights out.
Today I am 6 months and 14 days sober and still counting. 

Juin 2020, the breakup. Being sober and opening my heart gave me a lot of clarity on what I wanted and what was ok or not to have in my life. I deeply love this man, I always will. It took me a long time to learn that: loving someone doesn’t make you compatible, just remember that. 

October 2020, I realize how far I have come. I am so FREAKING proud of the woman I have become.
I know my worth.
I know how strong I am.
I feel how magical I am.
I embrace and honor all the shades of my emotions because they are my true gift.
I realized I am a highly sensitive person and what used to be my worst nightmare is now my greatest superpower.
I am conscious that I have a gift to deeply feel people and what they are going through.
And most of all, I know I AM THERE FOR MYSELF. Through thick and thin I stand tall for myself. I love myself deeply and unconditionally especially when I feel unworthy of love, especially when my old demons resurface.
I am well acquainted with my shadow and realize that my bright light wouldn’t be able to shine without it.
I am still a working progress, I am fully aware of that.
I am SO DEEPLY GRATEFUL for all these years of madness and sadness because they have shown me so many shades of life and love. It has given me so much wisdom.
I believe these experiences were put on my path to help me help others.

October 2020, is the time for me to shift and pivot again. Mémé Aurait Aimé has always been about connexion to our beloved elderly, about kindness and gratitude. This remains unchanged. I believe my atelier was a space that embodied that vibe, where people felt safe to share their feelings. Even before Mémé Aurait Aimé, I realized that was exactly what I was doing when I used to work behind bars. Throughout my life, I have always held space for people to feel safe, understood, and heard. I have always created a sense of community everywhere I have been. 

Mémé Aurait Aimé remains a digital illustrator, a creative heartist. Mémé Aurait Aimé is also growing a new branch to her tree. She has learned to embrace her own uniqueness and grown to own up to her gifts.
Therefore I am called to share the magic of cacao with you.
I am called to share this heart-opening medicine.
I am called to keep sharing my values with you.
I am called to share the soft embrace of the caring grandmother that the Spirit of Mama Cacao is.
I am called to deeply hold space for you.
I am called to witness you and all your emotions.
I am called to support you flourish into your unique scent.
I am called to help create a community of souls who live with open hearts and are deeply grateful. 

Huge gratitude for all of you who have been following my Mémé Aurait Aimé adventures since the beginning and for those of you who have hopped on along the way.
Deep gratitude for all of you who have supported me and given me projects these last three years and keep doing so.
Heartfelt gratitude for those who have trusted me to support them on their healing path and those of you who will embark with me on this new Mémé Aurait Aimé journey of the HEART!

Sending love, light, and laughter,
Caroline

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